Life is Such? Says Who?

What a week this is turning out to be! Just a few days back I managed to gather whatever strength I had balance and buried a few old demons I have been carrying on my back for some time now. It was not an easy decision nor a stroll in the park to do it all.

Right when I think that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone UP THERE forgot to pay TNB for the electricity bill and decided that I should be in the dark again. Newton's Third Law of Motions says 'For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction'. In my case both the action AND reaction is NOT from me. If YOU cannot or will not pay the bill, at least let me pay in myself. Let me hold my destiny in my hands. Thats the least fair thing I can ask for from YOU.

George Orwell once said, (this is also one of my fav quotes) 'He who controls the past commands the future. He who commands the future conquers the past.' Here I am trying to put everything behind by controlling my past and commanding my future. But fate's got different idea about the whole thing. Its my past that is trying to conquer me and put a control on my future.

The last few days had now been easy. No matter how much I try, history keeps repeating itself. Some of the times I sense that it is indeed partially my fault. But each time I try to correct a fault, a new one keeps popping out. Most of us face this all the times dont we.

It makes us wonder, whats the fight for?? whats the struggle for?? Is this a neverending story?? Nevertheless I refuse to be broken! I refuse to bog down! I refuse to be made useless! I refuse to give up my faith! I refuse to give up hope! I am who I am!

This reminds me of one of my fav songs. A song that gives me strength whenever I need em the most. And right now its playing on a continouos loop on my desktop. A song titled HANDS by Jewel

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but i knew it wasn't ever after
We will fight, not out of spite
for someone must stand up for what's right
cause where there's a man who has no voice
there ours shall go singing
My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
My hands are small, i know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
God's hands
We are God's hands
God's hands
We are God's hands